Do the right things and the right things will happen

Life is not meant to be complicated. It is straightforward. It'ssimply a matter of doing the right things. And when we do so, theright things will happen. The reward for doing the right thingsis success, happiness, and fulfillment. But when we do the wrongthings, we reap failure, misery, and regret. So, what are thewrong things? The list below is enough to get you started. Aftergoing through it, you will quickly think of other things to addto the list. Just think of the right things as the things thatwork, and the wrong things as the things (actions) that don'twork. If what you are doing is bringing you closer to your goalsand dreams, you are doing the right things. On the other hand, ifsuccess is no where in sight, you are unhappy, and you arefeeling frustrated, they are signs that you are doing the wrongthings. Now is a good time to take stock of your actions and askyourself whether you're doing the right or wrong things. THE WRONG THINGS: 1. Denial. The first step in overcoming a problem is to admitthat we have one. Most of us are imperfect and have a problem ortwo in one or more areas of life. Here's a simple test. If you'reunhappy, you're doing something wrong. If that describes you, tryto find out what you are doing wrong and correct the situation. 2. Unwilling to work at it. I have heard many people say, "Self-help books and self-improvement programs don't work for me." ThenI have to explain, "Self-help books and programs are not supposedto work, YOU are supposed to work! Just carry out the exercisesyou have learned and practice them for 15 ~ 20 minutes a day. Ifyou were to do so, it is impossible not to improve." How do theyknow the books and programs don't work when they don't practicewhat is taught? 3. Looking for the easy way instead of the right way. The onlyshort cut to success is hard work. Hard work may not comenaturally, but we have the capacity to develop self-discipline,which is an essential skill. Self-discipline is nothing less thanthe freedom to reach our dreams. When viewed in that light, itsimportance should become clear. 4. Ignoring the warning signs. Unhappiness and the failure toreach our goals are warning signs. The pain brought on by thesepredicaments is life's way of screaming at us, "What you aredoing isn't working. Try doing things differently." Yet, ratherthan heed the warning signs, some prefer to blame their problemson "bad luck." Others claim they are victims of circumstances orfate. The reality is they are victims of their own negativethoughts and beliefs. How much better it is to be the beneficiaryof one's own positive thoughts. 5. Failure to plan. When we fail to plan, we plan to fail. Wecan't just wait for things to happen. We have to make themhappen. And we do so by carefully planning and taking theappropriate steps. It's time to stop brooding and whining andstart planning for success. It's time to ask ourselves, "What doI want? Why do I want it? Why don't I already have what I want?What am I doing wrong? What steps do I have to take and in whatorder? When will I begin? What obstacles am I likely to encounterand how will I overcome them?" 6. Failure to take responsibility. What happens to us is theresults of our own actions or inaction. We can blame others orcircumstances if we want, but that doesn't help at all. Ratherthan do something about their problems, some stand around waitingto be rescued by others. They wait for a knight in shining armorto save them, but they wait in vain. Far better to depend onyourself. 7. Trying to do as little as possible instead of as much aspossible. Some avoid work as if it were a disease. But when we doas little as possible, we learn and progress as little aspossible. This leads to frustration, stress, loss of energy, andless ambition. In other words, we find ourselves in a downwardspiral. But when we work as much as possible, we make rapidprogress, experience pride, self-respect, and the joy of reapingthe rewards that follow a job well done. 8. Failure to apply what we learn. A meal provides no nutrientsunless we eat it. Similarly, books, articles, and advice provideno help unless we integrate into our lives what we've learned.Neglecting to apply what we've learned is the same as notlearning it. 9. Failure to regularly monitor one's progress. How can wecorrect our course unless we know where we're going? We need toregularly survey our progress. Are we on course or are wedrifting off course? Why leave things to chance when we canmonitor our results and make corrections as needed? Also,discovering our mistakes early allows us to learn from them andto nip failure in the bud. 10. Giving up too early. Temporary setbacks become failures onlyif we stop in our tracks. But if we make it our policy to refuseto give up until we reach our destination, we'll never fail. 11. Failure to get along with others. Some believe they live in ahostile world, so they act in a hostile manner, alienatingothers. But those who believe they live in a friendly world trustand support others. As a consequence, they receive trust andsupport from everyone they deal with. What is your opinion? Doyou believe you live in a friendly or hostile world? It doesn'tmatter whether your opinion is right or wrong. What matters iswhether your opinion works for you or not. Positive thinkersbelieve we live in a friendly world, so they get along withothers and become successful. In a word, what they are doingworks. 12. Failure to be flexible and adaptable. We can tell life wherewe want to go and what we want to do, but it may have betterplans for us, so we have to be willing to change our route tosuccess. If we remain inflexible, stubbornly sticking to apersonal goal, we may not recognize a golden opportunity when itappears. For example, I may decide I want to become a famouswriter, but life may want me to become a great teacher. As longas I remain flexible, when a teaching opportunity arrives, I willbe able to consider it. Besides, my ultimate goal is for success,and either writing or teaching can get me there. 13. A belief that they already know it all or know more thanothers. When we think we know more than others, we're notinterested in hearing what they have to say and grow deaf to thewisdom offered by others in casual conversations. To benefit themost from life, not only should we carefully listen to whatothers have to say, but we should be willing to be changed bywhat we hear. On several occasions, my life was dramaticallychanged by the words of ordinary people. 14. Lack of commitment. A dream without commitment is no morethan a wish. But when we are committed, we are willing to dowhatever it takes to succeed. We may have to reach deep, downinside to find it, but commitment is part of the inner resourcesof all. Just as we may be unaware of vast reserves of oil lyingbeneath the soil we stand on, many are ignorant of their reservesof commitment. All we have to do is drill down to tap into it,and once it gushes forth, there won't be anything we cannot do! 15. Looking backward instead of forward. True, some of us weredealt nasty blows in the past. Insurmountable obstacles may haveblocked our way. But that was the past. Now it is time to moveforward. It is time to plan and prepare for the future. It istime to focus on what we want instead of what we don't want; timeto focus on what we have instead of what we lack, and time tofocus on solutions instead of excuses. Your life is a precious gift. What do you plan to do with it? You won't have to worry if you do the right things, for then the right things will happen to you. By Chuck Gallozzi Email: chuck.gallozzi@rogers.com http://www.personal-development.com/chuck