In the course of living and trying to make sense of this world, we will
take some unsure steps and fall, or take some sure steps and get hit or
pushed over by others that walk this path called life with us. In the
course of a lifetime we will be confronted with failure or loss of some
scale, whether by our poor choices or the seeming insensitivity of
others.
When confronted with loss of any kind, as we must from
time to time - be it a relationship, finances or property - we
experience a variety of emotions which fall into one of two categories:
1.
Denial: this is the point where you tell yourself that this can't be
happening to you or that for some supernatural inexplicable reason the
situation will be automatically reversed. This seldom happens, leaving
one frustrated or in a perpetual state of not being in touch with
reality.
2. Anger: is the point at which you blame some person,
institution or situation for your predicament. Whether they really
caused it or not anger ties put's happiness out of your control as you
come to associate your being happy with the actions of others.
Denial
and anger can both make one to continually scratch at the surface of
our wounds which, rather than heal, makes them worse.
The
perfect life doesn't exist in the world as we know it today, and
striving for it is chasing after the wind, for no man can attain
perfection. Maturity on the other hand is a more realistic goal to aim
at, as maturity means coming to accept the fact that we have our
inadequacies, but we can become better by continually striving to
improve with the knowledge that learning never ends.
As Wharton
School Practice Proffessor of Management, Stewart Friedman puts it "part
of reaching maturity means coming to know ourselves – our strengths and
our limitations – figuring out how our gifts can realistically flourish
in the world." Maturity is coming to realize that it may not be your
fault, but it is your problem and the responsibility for your happiness
rests squarely on your shoulders not on the actions or choices of
others.
Maturity is understanding as Al Paccino says (in the
Movie Any Given Sunday) that "as we get older things get taken from us"
or as Mandela state's that "with freedom come's responsibility" or as
the popular cliche goes "to whom much is given, much is expected."
Maturity is knowing that my freedom to choose and live means that I must
protect the right of each and every person to live and choose how to
live.
Each of us has an infinite capacity to keep on the steady
path of growth and learning till we attain maturity, at which point we
clearly see as Nelson Mandela did that "after climbing a great hill one
only find's that there are many more hills to climb." Doing our best
only fills us with the realization that we still need to do more, while
not robbing us of the belief that we have the capacity to accomplish
even more for the largest room in the world is the room for improvement.
