Dealing with disappointment

In the course of living and trying to make sense of this world, we will take some unsure steps and fall, or take some sure steps and get hit or pushed over by others that walk this path called life with us. In the course of a lifetime we will be confronted with failure or loss of some scale, whether by our poor choices or the seeming insensitivity of others.

When confronted with loss of any kind, as we must from time to time - be it a relationship, finances or property - we experience a variety of emotions which fall into one of two categories:

1. Denial: this is the point where you tell yourself that this can't be happening to you or that for some supernatural inexplicable reason the situation will be automatically reversed. This seldom happens, leaving one frustrated or in a perpetual state of not being in touch with reality.

2. Anger:  is the point at which you blame some person, institution or situation for your predicament. Whether they really caused it or not anger ties put's happiness out of your control as you come to associate your being happy with the actions of others.

Denial and anger can both make one to continually scratch at the surface of our wounds which, rather than heal, makes them worse.

The perfect life doesn't exist in the world as we know it today, and striving for it is chasing after the wind, for no man can attain perfection. Maturity on the other hand is a more realistic goal to aim at, as maturity means coming to accept the fact that we have our inadequacies, but we can become better by continually striving to improve with the knowledge that learning never ends.

As Wharton School Practice Proffessor of Management, Stewart Friedman puts it "part of reaching maturity means coming to know ourselves – our strengths and our limitations – figuring out how our gifts can realistically flourish in the world." Maturity is coming to realize that it may not be your fault, but it is your problem and the responsibility for your happiness rests squarely on your shoulders not on the actions or choices of others.

Maturity is understanding as Al Paccino says (in the Movie Any Given Sunday) that "as we get older things get taken from us" or as Mandela state's that "with freedom come's responsibility" or as the popular cliche goes "to whom much is given, much is expected." Maturity is knowing that my freedom to choose and live means that I must protect the right of each and every person to live and choose how to live.

Each of us has an infinite capacity to keep on the steady path of growth and learning till we attain maturity, at which point we clearly see as Nelson Mandela did that "after climbing a great hill one only find's that there are many more hills to climb." Doing our best only fills us with the realization that we still need to do more, while not robbing us of the belief that we have the capacity to accomplish even more for the largest room in the world is the room for improvement.